Stronger Than You Think You Are
by Winter-whisperling
Summary: She wished that she could take back that night. For herself, for her friends, and most importantly, for him. She knew that she couldn't and it killed her to know that he would never look at her the same way again. Pairings: Brulian/Naley/Leyton.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! This is my first ever fan fiction so I'm a little nervous about posting it. I would love any feedback you guys can give me (good or bad), especially in regards to grammar issues, spelling, and the general nature of the story arc (whether you like it or think I should change anything). Also, if you guys have any ideas of where I should go with this story, feel free to comment in reviews. I would love to hear your opinions. **

**This story is set around the start of season 8. Everything that has happened in the show up until this point has happened here, except that Lucas and Peyton never left. The story is rated M for rape, violence, adult themes, and language. Pairings will be Brucas/Naley/Leyton with mentions of Clay/Quinn, Mouth/Mille, and Mia/Chase/Alex. First chapter is short but it will get better.**

**Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy it (sorry if you don't)!**

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own One Tree Hill or any of its characters (wish I did though).

It had been one month since that fateful night. One month since her world had forever been changed.

The brunette shot up from her bed as shadows from the passing cars outside danced across her bedroom walls. She had been attempting to sleep for the past two hours without success. Her mind was too clouded with thoughts, her body too tense to relax. Every noise she heard sent waves of fear rushing through her body. She wished more than anything that he was there with her. There to comfort her and protect her from her nightmares. It would not happen though, she thought, as she had asked him to leave. She couldn't look at him anymore without feeling the shame burning her eyes. She knew he didn't blame her but she couldn't shake the feeling that he thought less of her now. That she was damaged goods and he would not be able to fix her. She tried to shake away her thoughts as she moved from her bed and ventured into the living room. As she moved toward the kitchen, she noticed the half-full bottle of vodka sitting on the bench. She picked up the bottle and was immediately startled by the sound of a car alarm buzzing somewhere outside. In an instant, she had rushed from the kitchen to the bathroom where she locked the door and fell to the floor with a sob. It wasn't supposed to be like this, she thought. She was Brooke Davis and she was stronger than this.

She took a large swig from the bottle and gagged slightly as she felt the strong liquid slide down her throat. She lifted her shirt slightly to look at the single word that had been carved into her stomach. To see that one word that would haunt her for the rest of her life. The monster had put it there to mark her, to make sure that she would never forget what he thought she was. He had called her a slut and he had branded her as one. Julian had cried when he saw it. They all had. But Brooke couldn't. It was like that night had broken something inside of her. Something other than her ribs, something that would not heal. It was not that she couldn't feel anything, god how she wished she couldn't. The problem was simply that she didn't know how to express it. She couldn't describe how she was feeling and she didn't want to burden her friends with it. She knew that they were all there for her, that they all wanted to help her but she wouldn't let them. It was all too much for her. She took another swig from the bottle before picking herself up and moving toward the medicine cabinet. She opened it to find the Prozac she had been taking since that night. She removed the bottle and emptied a few pills into her hand before swallowing them, along with some more of the vodka. She would not sleep tonight, she knew. She couldn't risk the nightmares, wouldn't allow herself to do so. Instead, she sat beside the bathroom door and waited for morning to come. Even though she knew that the sun would probably never shine again for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Just thought I'd post another chapter early because the first one was so short. **

**Thanks to Girl007 and haleydavisbaker for my first reviews. This chapter will be mostly Peyton's flashback of what happened from her point of view. Next chapter will explain what actually happened from Brooke's POV. Julian's POV will be the chapter after hopefully. Everything else will be explained throughout the story. **

**A/N: I am not a doctor so I'm not sure if it's okay for them to give information about a patient's condition to their fiancé. I know they say they can only tell family members so I'm guessing probably not. In any case, for the purpose of this story, let's just pretend they can. It makes the story easier for me to write.**

**Flashbacks are in italics.**

It was just after 7:00am before Brooke finally mustered up the courage to leave the bathroom. She had been curious when she heard the sound of a car pulling up in her driveway but upon hearing the gentle knocking on her door, she immediately reverted to her previous state of terror. Her mind had instantly displayed the worst possible scenario to her. That the monster had returned to finish what he started. She had been standing outside the bathroom door, too scared to even move until she heard a soft voice call to her. She recognized the voice instantly and soon found the haze of fear lifting from her shoulders.

"Brooke, I know you're there. Please open the door honey." The voice called to her once again. Brooke moved slowly toward the door and took a deep, calming breath before opening it. "Hi Peyton." she greeted her friend. Peyton could hear how exhausted she sounded and felt even worse for leaving her alone all night. "I'm sorry I wasn't here last night Brooke, I didn't get your message until this morning." Brooke motioned for her to move into the living room and closed the door behind her. "It's fine Peyton. I don't even know why I called. I Just…" she trailed off, not wanting her friend to know how much of a mess she really was. "You didn't want to be alone." Peyton finished for her. Brooke nodded and offered Peyton a sad smile. "That's understandable after everything that's happened. I'm so sorry Brooke." She reached over to give Brooke a hug but was only slightly surprised when she pulled away from her. "Don't apologize Peyton, I can take care of myself." Peyton sighed and moved to sit on the couch. "I know you can but you shouldn't have to right now. Why isn't Julian here with you? How could he just leave?" Brooke felt the tears stinging her eyes but did not allow them to fall. "Because I wouldn't let him stay." She replied simply.

Peyton felt her heart break for her friend. She knew exactly why she had asked Julian to leave but she wouldn't call her on it. Not when she was this fragile. She knew she had failed her friend by not being there with her that night. They had been fighting over something so trivial that she can barely remember what it was. Her Brooke Davis had been replaced that night by the girl currently standing in front of her. She wondered if she would ever be able to get her back again. After a brief, awkward silence, Brooke had excused herself to go take a shower. Peyton moved to the kitchen to make them both some breakfast. It was a small gesture but at this point, she was unsure of any other way to help her friend. The last month had been brutal on everyone but of course it had been so much harder on Brooke. She was the one who was attacked, the one who had been forced to lie in a pool of her own blood for 3 hours before anyone arrived to help her. Peyton thought back to the moment she received that phone call. She knew she would never forget the pain in her husband's voice when he told her what had happened or the overwhelming fear she felt when he told her that her best friend might not make it through the night.

"_Hello? Lucas?" Peyton answered the phone in a groggy voice, indicating clearly that she had been sleeping. _

"_Peyton, you need to come to the hospital now. It's Brooke." She could hear her husband crying over the phone before his words even registered to her. As the gravity of his words finally hit her, she shot out of bed, her face contorted in fear, and she became instantly alert. Any previous thread of sleepiness had completely gone. "What do you mean Lucas? What happened? Is she ok?" Questions immediately flowed from her lips, even as she realized that for her husband to be crying, it must be bad. _

"_I don't know! I found her in the parking lot behind her store. There was blood everywhere. I don't know what happened. Please come." He was talking so fast that she could barely understand him. Peyton swore she could actually hear him shaking over the phone._

"_I'll be right there." She said before throwing the phone down and rushing to her daughter's room. After scooping up the infant, Peyton practically ran out the front door, strapped her daughter in her car seat, and started the ignition. She drove to the hospital in record time, slowing down only when she remembered her child was in the car. _

"_Lucas!" Peyton screamed as she ran through the hospital corridor toward her husband who was sitting in the emergency department's waiting room. "Peyton, thank god you're here." He said as he practically leapt from his seat to embrace her. As soon as he stood, Peyton noticed the blood on his shirt. For a moment, she thought it was his. "It's Brooke's." He said, knowing right away what she was thinking. This did nothing to ease her fear as she pushed her husband away and began pacing the room. "Have you heard anything yet? How bad is it? She's going to be okay right?" Lucas couldn't answer her questions. He hadn't heard anything and he certainly didn't know if she was going to be okay. "No. I don't know." He said. Peyton sat down as Sawyer started crying and rocked the child gently. "It's okay baby. I'm sorry." She whispered. _

_The baby had only just begun to settle down when Haley and Nathan barged through the emergency department doors. "Where is she?" Nathan asked. "What the fuck happened? Is she ok?" Lucas sighed and rubbed his head with his left hand. "I don't know." He repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. "I found her. She was in the parking lot behind her store. She was half-naked and bleeding. The EMT's said it looked like she was assaulted but I honestly don't know." Haley looked like someone had knocked the wind out of her. She moved to take a seat while Nathan remained standing, trying to take in everything that Lucas had said to him. A million questions flooded his mind at once and all he could think to ask was "why was she there? And why were you there?" Lucas looked at him, clearly surprised by his question. "Does that really matter right now?" He asked. "I'm just confused, that's all. She doesn't work there anymore, the store was closed. Why would she go back there? Why would you?" Lucas shook his head before replying. "I was driving past and noticed her car parked out front. I went in to check on her. The store was a mess and the back door was open. I was curious so I went out there to check and there she was. I don't know why she was there, she was unconscious. But I seriously fail to see how any of that is relevant at a time like this. What the fuck is wrong with you?" His anger was obvious and Nathan backed away a little. "I don't know why I asked man, I'm sorry. I just don't understand how this happened. She was fine this morning." _

_Lucas sighed and looked over at the girls. Sawyer was sleeping now and Peyton was rocking her gently, trying to stifle her own tears. Haley still appeared shell-shocked. She wished that someone would tell them what was going on. "Has anyone called Julian?" She asked the obvious question. "I couldn't get a hold of him but I left a message on his cell. He should be here soon, I hope." Lucas replied. Haley nodded but didn't ask anymore questions. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence for a solid ten minutes, with everyone trying to piece together what happened in their own minds. "Where's Brooke? What's happening? Please tell me she's ok?" The silence was interrupted by Julian's voice as he fired the familiar questions at Lucas. Everyone had been so engrossed in their own thoughts that no-one heard him enter the hospital corridor. Lucas told him everything he had told the others and assured him that someone would be out to tell them what was going on soon. He just hoped that it was good news._

_After what felt like an eternity of waiting, a doctor finally greeted them in the waiting room. "Is anyone here for Brooke Davis?" He asked. Everyone stood at once and proclaimed that they were all there for her. "I'm Dr. Jansen. I performed the surgery on Miss Davis." He informed them. " Are any of you related to Miss Davis?" _

"_I'm her fiancé." Julian replied quickly. "Her mother is in prison. No-one knows where her father is. Can you please just tell us?" The doctor nodded and proceeded to list Brooke's injuries. "Miss Davis sustained severe internal bleeding in her abdomen, but we have managed to stop the bleed. She lost a lot of blood due to the penetrating knife wound to her stomach. We have also managed to stop this bleeding and have already proceeded with a blood transfusion. Also, she has four broken ribs. One of them caused a pneumothorax, which means she has a collapsed lung. However, we have managed to remove the air from the plural space so that her lung was able to re-expand. On top of all this, there were some lacerations to her liver and spleen. She also has a mild concussion…" The doctor seemed to trail off. He didn't mention anything about the word that had been branded on her stomach. He figured it was up to his patient to tell them if she wanted to. _

_Nathan was the first to speak after the doctor had finished. "Hang on, you said 'knife wound'. So she was attacked then?" He asked. "Yes, I'm afraid so. But she is in recovery now and her OBs are stable. We are taking all precautions to keep it that way." Julian knew everyone else was thinking the same thing as him but he was afraid to ask the question. It turns out he didn't have to though, because Peyton did. "Was she raped?" She asked. The doctor cleared his throat before replying. "Yes, I'm sorry." Peyton released a strangled sob while Julian felt the rage boiling inside of him. He wanted to kill someone. He knew in that moment that he would hunt Brooke's attacker down and make him pay for what he did. He would kill him. Peyton could feel his anger and she felt the same way. _

Peyton was broken from her memory by the sound of the bathroom door opening. She saw Brooke linger in the doorway for a few seconds before walking silently back into the living room and sitting on the couch. She was dressed in a thick gray hoodie and long black sweat pants, despite the extreme heat outside. She hadn't spoken much about her attack at all and this worried Peyton. She didn't want to push her too soon but she was afraid of what might happen if she didn't. She needed back up, she knew that. With that in mind, Peyton decided she would call Julian that night. She knew that Brooke needed him and that he was probably the only person who would be able to get through to her.

**Good? Bad? What did you guys think? I have a pretty good idea of where I want this story to go but I would love to hear your ideas too. My aim is to please you guys, not myself. So if my story sucks, let me know so I can fix it. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N1: Omg you guys, I am so sorry for posting this so late. I have been so busy with my university studies and moving house that I just haven't had the time. I also lost internet for 5 weeks after the move so that didn't help. Anyway, I promise you won't have to wait so long for future updates. **

**Thank you so much to CaseyJr, Ilovecujo1993, and Lucasandpeytonfanatic for your lovely reviews. I appreciate all your ideas and suggestions and will work to incorporate them into future chapters. And thank you also to everyone who is still sticking with this story. **

**A/N2: Just a quick warning, this chapter is quite graphic. It details Brooke's attack in the physical, verbal, and emotional aspects. Includes rape, violence, and torture scenes so please don't read if such content is triggering or distressing for you. Sorry again for the delay. Hope this chapter was worth the wait (but it probably isn't) **

**Flashbacks are in italics.**

_She could feel him on top of her. He was inches from her face and she could smell the familiar scent of whiskey on his breath. It was strong enough to make her gag. He pulled his hand back and slapped her hard across the face. Her hand instinctively went to her face and he pulled it away before grabbing her jaw and turning her face toward him. He brought his mouth toward hers and captured her lower lip with his teeth. He bit down hard and she cried out in pain. He kissed her roughly and she gagged again as she could taste a mixture of her own blood and his whiskey in her mouth. She saw him move his hands as he began to unbutton her blouse. She was petrified. She knew what was coming and she couldn't stand the thought. She felt his hands move to the top of her jeans before he undid them and roughly pulled them from her thin frame. He pulled away in order to unzip his own jeans and she saw this as her opportunity to escape. She moved quickly and kneed him in the groin. "You bitch!" He screamed as he doubled over in pain. She got to her feet quickly and started running blindly. She had barely made it to the parking lot of her store before he caught up with her again. "You're gonna pay for that!" He yelled as he grabbed her by the hair and threw her down on the gravel road. Her head hit the ground first and she passed out briefly. When she came to, he was on top of her again. He had ripped off her underwear and she noticed that his lower half was already naked. She instantly wished that she had remained unconscious. He forced himself inside of her, thrusting with a force that made her feel as though he was tearing her apart. "No, stop! Get off me!" She screamed at him. This just made him thrust harder. Her tears became loud, uncontrollable sobs. "Please stop. Please don't do this." She begged him for mercy but this just seemed to excite him more. She tried to hide inside her mind but she couldn't. After what seemed like several agonizing hours, but was probably only minutes, she felt him explode inside her before standing up and putting his pants back on. It was then that she saw him remove the knife from his jacket... _

Brooke shot up from her bed, screaming and clutching her sheets. "Brooke, it's okay. It was just a dream." Peyton's soft voice broke through the haze of terror that was surrounding her. She pulled her into a hug and for the first time in weeks, Brooke didn't pull away. Instead, she clutched to her friend, terrified that if she let her go, he would come back. "It's okay Brooke. Everything's going to be okay. He can't hurt you anymore. " Peyton tried her best to soothe her. It broke her heart to see her best friend this way. Brooke was now crying silently into Peyton's shoulder as memories of that night once again consumed her.

_Brooke could see the tip of her attacker's finger reflecting in the shiny steel blade as he held it out in front of her. The look of pure rage and hate on his face terrified her even more than the sharp implement that would determine her fate. She knew that this man would probably kill her if she didn't find an escape route fast. Brooke jumped to her feet and started running so fast that her attacker was caught off guard and almost tripped over his own feet trying to catch her. Her body was screaming at her to stop but she knew she couldn't. She felt an intense throbbing pain from the force of the violation she had just suffered and could see the blood trailing down her legs. Her head was spinning and she was starting to feel nauseous. As Brooke felt her body growing weaker, she reached the end of the parking lot and began to knock loudly on the first building she saw. After a moment, she realized that the door was locked and no one was there. Her vision blurred and she leaned against the building in order to stabilize herself. She knew she needed to keep running but her legs wouldn't seem to move. A sudden, overpowering wave of nausea hit her hard, forcing her to drop to the ground and empty the contents of her stomach on the concrete sidewalk. Her attacker, having heard her violent heaving, ran towards the sound of the noise and grabbed her quickly by the arm before she had a chance to stand up again. He roughly pulled her up from the ground and shoved her against the brick wall of the building. She felt a sharp pain course through her back as it made impact with the wall. The man then backhanded her across the cheek and punched her so hard in her right eye that she fell from his grip and hit her head on the wall behind her. As her eyes clouded and the ringing in her ears became so loud that she couldn't hear anything the man was saying to her, she knew she was going to pass out again. As she slipped into unconsciousness, she could feel the man pull her up again and drag her back into the dark parking lot…_

"Brooke!" Peyton had noticed that Brooke's eyes were unfocused and that she wasn't responding to any of her questions. She shook her shoulders gently, trying to break her out of whatever dark thoughts had consumed her mind. "Brooke, are you okay?" Brooke heard Peyton's gentle voice once again pulling her away from her horrible memory. "Yeah, I'm okay." She replied. Peyton could hear the shakiness in Brooke's voice and knew that she wasn't okay. "Brooke…. Please talk to me. Please let me help you." The desperation in her friend's voice only made Brooke feel even worse. She did not want her friends to worry about her. She couldn't stand to see the frustration, fear, and pity in their eyes every time they came to visit her. It only made her feel even guiltier for everything she had put them through. Even though Brooke knew subconsciously that the attack was not her fault, it did not stop her from feeling like she could have prevented it. A part of her even felt that she deserved it. During her high school years, sex was always just sex for her. She never felt any emotional attachment to any of the guys she was with, aside from Lucas. She felt like this was somehow a punishment for the way she had behaved in high school. She wondered if her friends thought so too. This was one of the many questions she had asked herself everyday since the attack. _Does Julian think I'm dirty? Will he ever want to be with me now? _ _Could he ever be attracted to me again, now that I look like this? _She wondered if her attack was all that people would see of her now. "I don't need your help, Peyton. I just need to be left alone." Brooke replied before getting up and heading into the bathroom. She locked the door and Peyton could only listen as she turned on the shower and began to cry. Peyton felt horrible for her friend but was determined to help her, whatever it took. She decided she would make Brooke some breakfast as it was the only thing she could think of doing at the time. 

As Brooke stood under the hot water stream and scrubbed her skin raw, she couldn't help but cry as more memories of the worst night of her life continued to flood her head.

_The man dragged a now unconscious Brooke back to the other side of the parking lot. He moved her towards the back of her car so that potential passerby's would not be able to see her. After ensuring that she was still unconscious, he shoved her roughly to the ground and removed the knife from his pocket once again. He ran the knife along the length of her exposed stomach before cutting a small line just below her ribcage. As the sharp edge drew into her skin, she elicited a slight groan in response to the pain she was feeling. Her attacker was quick to notice her stirring from her unconscious state. This seemed to please him further as he once again drew the knife away from her and removed a cheap lighter from his back pocket. He flicked the lighter a few times before holding it under the cold steel of the knife and running the flame up and down the length of the blade until he was satisfied with the amount of heat radiating from the sharp surface . Brooke, still dazed from her head injury, was unaware of what was happening until the man returned to her side once again. As she felt the burning metal pierce her skin once again, she was suddenly pulled from her semi-conscious state. She screamed out in pain as more crimson liquid leaked from her delicate skin. Aware of the possibility that someone might be able to hear her screams, the man grabbed her torn blouse from the ground where it had previously been discarded and shoved it into her mouth. He then used the sleeves to tightly tie it around the back of her head. As he continued to cut seemingly random patterns into the centre of her stomach, Brooke's screams of agony were muffled by the fabric of her own blouse. After several horrifying minutes had passed, the man halted his actions and returned both the knife and lighter to his pocket. Brooke remained still and attempted to stifle her cries in the hope that he had now finished with her and would leave her alone. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Brooke was horrified to realize that not only was the man not leaving, he was also once again unzipping his jeans. She realized that she was also still naked, with the exception of her bra. She saw his form hover over her for a second before laying his body on top of hers, effectively pinning her small arms with his own much larger ones. Pure fear raged through her veins as she knew that he was going to violate her once again. She screamed as loud as she could but was barely audible due to the binding fabric of the makeshift gag. "Scream all you want. No one will hear you." He whispered in her ear. She felt him force her legs apart and enter her abruptly but he did not start thrusting immediately. Instead, he moved his hands to cup her breasts. The second she felt his arms move from hers, she took the opportunity to try to escape again. She grabbed at his face in an attempt to gauge his eyes with her fingers but he was too quick and punched her in the face once again. Her hands instinctively moved from his face to her own in attempt to ease the shooting pain that was radiating from her jaw. He grabbed the knife again and held it to her throat. "Try that again and I'll kill you, you bitch!" He threatened. Brooke could feel her heart hammering in her chest as the sharp blade poked into her neck. _

Crying was something that Brooke had not done much of lately. In fact, it felt almost weird for her to let the tears fall. But something had broken inside of her today and she could no longer hold them back. She slid down the wall of the shower until she was sitting on the floor. She ran her hands through her hair and tried to quiet her sobs so that Peyton would not hear them. She wanted her friends to think she was getting better so that they would leave her alone. She couldn't deal with her own emotions, let alone worry about theirs all the time. After several minutes, Brooke stopped crying and finally managed to compile herself enough to get out of the shower. After drying off and getting dressed, she rinsed her eyes with water in the hope that Peyton would not notice that she had been crying. She knew it was a vain effort but hoped that her friend would be smart enough not to mention anything to her about it. As she exited the bathroom and entered the kitchen, she found that Peyton had made a lovely breakfast for her including waffles, pancakes, and hot coffee. Peyton frowned at her return, noticing how red and puffy her eyes were. "Are you okay Brooke? Do you feel any better?" She didn't want to push her too far but she did not think she could sit back and say nothing when her friend was clearly in pain. "Yeah, I'm fine. The shower was nice." Brooke replied, refusing to make eye contact with the blonde in front of her. "Okay. I made you some breakfast." Peyton said, gesturing to the plates of food on the table. "Yeah, I can see that." Brooke laughed. "Thank you. You didn't have to go to so much effort for me." The blonde smiled. "Of course I did Brooke. You're my best friend. That's what I'm here for." She grabbed a waffle from one of the plates and took a bite. "Besides, I need to eat too you know." Brooke smiled and joined her friend at the table. She took a few pancakes onto her plate and poured herself some coffee. Peyton watched as the brunette picked at her food but noticed that she barely put any of it into her mouth. "You have to eat Brooke." She scolded. "I'm not really hungry Peyton. " Brooke sighed. "I'm sorry, I know you went to a lot of effort here, I just…", "Brooke, you've hardly eaten anything at all lately. You're already losing weight. Don't tell me you're not hungry because I know that you are." Peyton was trying her best to keep calm but her frustration was rapidly growing. "I said I'm not hungry okay? I'll eat something later. I just don't feel like it right now." With that, Brooke got up and went back into her room. She laid on her bed on her side, curled up in the fetal position. Her thoughts once again drifted back to the night of her attack.

_A part of her was terrified that he would follow through with his threat. The other part of her was terrified that she almost wanted him to kill her. She couldn't help but think it was better than the alternative. Nevertheless, she knew that if she were to try to get away again, it would only anger him further. She realized that this man was capable of anything and the thought of what else he might do to her scared her enough not to try. Her attacker moved the knife from her neck and positioned it between her breasts. As he slowly trailed the blade down her cleavage, he reached the tip of her bra and quickly cut it down the middle before removing it from her body altogether. Her body shook with fear and humiliation as the man started thrusting into her. "I know you like this, you slut."; "It's not like anyone else would ever want you."; "Who would believe you anyway? You're nothing but a pathetic, filthy whore." He continued to taunt her by saying all the things that he knew would hurt her the most. As he quickened his pace and began thrusting even harder than the first time, she screamed in agony. Her attacker merely laughed at her, clearly enjoying the pain he was inflicting on her. He lowered his head to her chest and began to circle her nipple with his tongue before biting down hard and smiling when he heard her scream again. As the pain between her legs grew more and more intense with each thrust, Brooke could feel the blood dripping from her body. Her throat was hoarse from screaming but she did not stop. She could feel her heart beating so fast in her chest that she was convinced that she would have a heart attack. After one final thrust, the man finally rolled himself off her and stood to dress once again. _

Tears rolled down her cheeks as the terrible memory invaded her head, just like it did every night since her attack. She wished she could forget. Just shut it out and never have to deal with it again. But she knew that would never happen. It could never happen. That monster had ruined her life and she had no idea how she was going to get it back.

_Brooke thought it was finally over and tried to push herself up but fell back to the ground immediately. Her body was in such a state of shock that she couldn't stop herself from vomiting as the bile rose to her throat. She was surprised when her attacker suddenly removed the gag from her mouth to prevent her from choking on her own vomit. Once she had succeeded in ridding her body of all that she had eaten that day, the man grabbed her by the hair and pushed her back down onto the road. It was then that she felt the first kick hit her hard in the ribs. She heard a loud cracking noise before she felt a sharp, excruciating pain where she had just been kicked. The pain hit her with such force that she let out a loud, high-pitched scream. The man didn't even seem to notice though as he continued kicking her repeatedly in the stomach and back. "Look at you, you're disgusting!" He told her with a look of hate and disgust on his face. She wondered how anyone could be so evil. How could someone she did not even know hold so much hate towards her? The kicks grew in intensity but after a while, the pain had become dull for Brooke. She wasn't sure whether she was about to pass out again or if she had just adjusted to the pain. All she knew was if the man was going to kill her, she wished he would just get it over with. She was exhausted and she did not have the strength to fight him anymore._

_After one last kick to the side, the man disappeared from her view. She almost cried in relief as she thought that he had finally left. However, her heart quickly sank after several seconds as he returned to the peripherals of her vision. He had the knife in his hand again but she was too tired to care what he did with it. The man kneeled down beside her and whispered in her ear: "See this?" He asked gesturing to the pattern of cuts with his knife that he had made on her stomach earlier. "Consider it a gift from me to any guy you ever hook up with. So that he can know exactly what you are. I know you'll never forget." Brooke had no idea what he was talking about. She was unable to turn her head down to see for herself and even is she would have been able to, there was still too much blood covering it. The man appeared to be waiting for a response but on receiving none, he became further enraged and moved the knife lower down her stomach before stabbing the knife into her hard. This time she could feel the pain more intensely and screamed as loud as she could. From the corner of her eye, she could see him put the knife away before unzipping his jeans once more. She was afraid he was going to rape her again but instead he took his penis out and stood over her. For a second she was confused about what he was planning to do but her confusion quickly turned to shame and disgust as he began urinating in the stab wound that he had just made on her stomach. She screamed again as the warm liquid burned her already excruciating wound. He quickly finished, expelling the last of the liquid onto her face. He laughed as some of the urine managed to get into her mouth and she vomited. The man, seemingly satisfied with what he had done, kicked her once more in the face before whispering in her ear: "Thanks for the fun." He then got up and walked away. She wasn't sure whether he had actually left this time or if he was planning on coming back. She could still taste the urine in her mouth and it disgusted her. She felt so dirty. The pain in the rest of her body was starting to dull once again as her vision became blurred and she started to feel light-headed. She suddenly felt so exhausted that she could no longer keep her eyes open. Her whole body felt heavy and for a minute, she was afraid she would never be able to move again. As she felt herself slipping into that familiar state of unconsciousness, she thought about Julian and their upcoming wedding. She wondered if he would be able to cope without her. Would her friends be there to help him? What about Jamie, the little boy she wished was her own? He had been through so much already. How would Nathan and Haley explain this to him? Her thoughts slowly drifted away before she was hit with a wall of darkness and then nothing._

Brooke tried to shake her thoughts as she heard Peyton knocking on her bedroom door. Receiving no response, the blonde opened the door quietly so that she wouldn't wake Brooke if she were sleeping. On entering the room and realizing that her friend was awake, Peyton made her way over to the bed and sat down next to her. "Do you want to talk to me?" She asked. "You can tell me anything Brooke; you know I won't judge you." The once cheerful brunette looked sadly at her best friend. "There's not really anything to talk about." Peyton noticed that she still wouldn't look her in the eye. "Brooke…", "Go home Peyton." Brooke said softly. "You have a baby to take care of. Go home to your family." She stood and crossed the room to get some distance from her worried friend. "You are my family Brooke. I want to take care of you too." "I don't need you to take care of me. I can take care of myself!" Peyton flinched slightly as Brooke shouted at her. "Just go home. Please." Peyton was unsure of what to do but she knew she did not want to stress Brooke out even more. "Okay, I'll go. But I'm coming back first thing in the morning to make sure you've eaten something." Brooke sighed. "Fine, just go now. Please." Peyton rose to her feet and headed towards the door. "Call me if you need anything." Brooke nodded and Peyton left. Brooke waited until she heard the front door close before she raced out of her room to lock it. Afterwards, she checked all the other locks and windows before heading back to her room. She closed the door and returned to her bed where she let the tears fall once again. As she thought about how much she had screwed things up with Julian and her friends, she cried harder. She did not think that things could ever get back to where they were before her attack. She knew that the Brooke Davis everybody loved did not exist anymore. She was gone and in her place was this broken, pathetic shell of a person who had spent most of the days since her attack blaming everyone else for everything she was going through. But that was only because Brooke knew inside that it wasn't her friends or her mother or Julian. It was her. It was all her fault. She was to blame for what happened to her and she would have to live with the consequences.

**So what do you guys think? When I started writing this, I was positive about how it would turn out. Reading through it now though, I think some scenes might be a bit repetitive. What do you think? Also, I know I promised that the next chapter would be from Julian's POV but I thought it might be more logical to do Lucas' POV next and follow the events chronologically. So I would do Lucas next, then Nathan and Haley (probably in one chapter), and then Julian. You will see plenty more from all of their POV's over the missing month of the story but I haven't decided what order I'll do them in either. Anyway, I would love your feedback so let me know what you guys want. Thanks for reading!**


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